Moving On: It’s Okay to Outgrow People
“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
- Jay Shetty
Are you still friends with people you were friends with five years ago or ten years ago? Why not?
Growth isn’t always linear; it can be messy and unpredictable. We may evolve in different directions from friends or family members who were once the most essential parts of our lives. This divergence doesn’t necessarily signify a failure in those relationships but indicates individual paths moving in different directions.
Take Steve Jobs, for instance. He needed Steve Wozniak to help him form Apple Computers, and Woz needed Jobs to push him to think deeper about the process. As time passed, Jobs’ focus and vision went in a different direction than Wozniak’s. Neither would have climbed as far as they did without the other, but there came a point where their paths split, and they went their separate ways.
Two Paths Diverge
This happens throughout our lives; we grow together and then apart because our interests diverge. Our time with old friends diminishes, and then we make new connections with people who challenge our ideas on how things are done and inspire us to think deeper than our old connections ever did.
This is a natural progression. Don’t feel guilty when people fall away. Jay Shetty once wrote, “People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime,” which sums up how this world works. We shouldn’t feel bad or guilty when we move on; it’s life moving us forward.
No one says we can’t reach back and stay in touch with those who now inspire us in different ways. Although these people were lost because of your movement, they are still the same people who love you and hope the best for you.
The problem comes when we are so worried about leaving someone behind that we close our lives down to accommodate them. Those who shut off their passion to stay with their old connections are not doing anyone a service. Nothing can come out of this except frustration and a longing for what might have been.
Are You Stuck?
When we begin to feel restless because we are not moving forward at the speed we think we should be, might be the first sign that it’s time for us to move on. Assessing what we truly need from our relationships at any time is vital. Do those who are closest to us support our dreams and aspirations? Do we still find the people we work with inspire you? Do we see our work has become the same boring routine where we don’t feel like we are growing?
These are simple questions, but the answers are very telling. They show us how close or far away we are from living the life we are meant to live. If our “quarters,” our family, and our work don’t stoke our passion, we are becoming stuck.
Moving Forward
Outgrowing people may initially feel like stepping into unknown territory, a place filled with uncertainty, but it also opens doors to incredible possibilities!
When we move into new circles of thought, we grow daily. Being the smartest person in the room in our old life was easy, but now we get the opportunity to grow every day. This new circle will challenge what we were convinced was the only way to think; now, we GET TO defend and understand the circumstances of our thoughts more than ever.
Frederick Douglass once said, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress. " The struggles we will experience as we grow will sometimes be difficult, but it can’t stop us. When we approach new situations, cultures, and ways of thinking with an open mind, we set ourselves up for success.
Don’t think for a minute that I am saying that we must become this new thought process. Growing is a give-and-take opportunity. As part of a new team, we get to add our ideas to the mix. If they expect us to have an open mind, they, too, must welcome us with the same mindset.
When I brought new coaches into my weight room, I spent a lot of time learning from them. Then, as I taught how we ran our program, we would discuss how we might integrate or even outright change what we were doing if their ideas made sense. But I also wanted them to have an open mind about the possibility that they may have been wrong in their approach before joining us.
This type of growth prepares us for our next step. This is where we take our old ideas and our newly gained information and move on to the opportunity that will allow us to continue to grow. The network of information has helped us grow exponentially. Every person we spoke with in person, on the phone, or in Zoom meetings has helped move us to a new, more complete way of thinking.
We will find that some people we started with may not have grown with us. They will still work in a methodology akin to riding in a horse and buggy compared to where you are. They can still be our friends but no longer our peers. Your peers continue challenging you, making us think and rethink our positions. They keep pushing us forward, not holding us back.
This is the struggle for success; as we struggle and fight, we begin to succeed more and more. This is the process that Mr. Douglass was speaking about. Eventually, we will get to a place where we are never satisfied with our current level of knowledge. Whatever the cost, we will always push the envelope to find a better way to live in our passion.
Embrace Your Journey
Ultimately, realizing it’s okay to outgrow people allows us permission to evolve without guilt or shame as we pursue paths aligned with our passion. Life is fluid; each chapter brings fresh encounters waiting beyond the horizon.
So, whether you're experiencing growing pains or not, embrace every moment! Remember that every relationship has served its purpose; honor those memories while making space for new ones destined to uplift your spirit further along your journey. When you do this, you won’t be growing apart from others; you’ll be growing into the person you were always meant to be.
Have an amazing day!
