Finding The Missing Piece to Your Puzzle
“Dare to ask questions and seek answers to the puzzles of life.”
- Lailah Akita
I am the king of stupid questions.
I wear that crown with pride. How did I earn it? Simply by being willing to “look stupid” by asking a question that I didn’t know the answer to.
What came out of this “stupidity” … I accomplished all my professional goals and dreams. It doesn’t seem like much of a cost when you look at it in that way does it? If I told you that you could be the best at whatever you wanted by asking questions, how many of you would raise your hand?
If you want to be the best, how hard is it to raise your hand and ask: “Why?” or “How?” or “Can you repeat that?” or “How does that cause this?”
When we were children, we went through the questioning everything phase. Then when we became young adults, we again questioned everything. Why is it then when we become adults, we stop asking questions?
Fear
The biggest reason is that we are afraid of looking stupid in front of our peers. Wow. So, you put your career in park because you were afraid to look like you didn’t know, because of what others thought of you? You gave the masses control over your life, that easily? Tell me it isn’t so.
I ask questions because I don’t know. I listened. I heard. I sit in the front row. But I did not understand it completely. That is why I asked the question. I wasn’t trying to extend the meeting. I needed to know.
I see questions and answers like a piece of a puzzle. If I don’t understand then I am missing a piece of my life’s puzzle. When I get the answer, I now have that piece. What happens is that one piece was a key factor in tying several loose ends together into a quantifiable answer.
I can’t count how many “break throughs” I have had by asking one simple question.
I wasn’t afraid of what the others in the room would think about me, because I didn’t know them and I really didn’t care. I was being selfish. I was on a quest to “know everything”.
The Quest
When we are busy climbing the ladder of our careers, to be the best we need to be different. In order to be different, we need to think differently. In order to think differently we must accumulate knowledge. As we follow this task we need to think outside the normal borders of a subject. To do this we need to begin to draw different schools of thought together in ways that others haven’t done before. When we begin to move towards what some call the “cutting edge” we need to lower our bucket deeper into the well of knowledge. In order to do this, we need to add “rope” or new ideas. In order to do this we need to be willing to ask stupid questions.
If you just want to be good you will have no idea what I am talking about. You can sit there and roll your eyes when I raise my hand and ask that “simple question”. Let me ask you, what are you doing with the information that you found so easy to understand. Are you done with it right there, or are you going to use it to push you farther down your path?
We all have that choice in our life: Are you living your dreams or making someone else’s come true?
Those of you who are not satisfied with where you are on your path you are on a quest. Quest is the root of the word “Question”. In order to progress along your path, accomplishing one goal after the next will require you to ask questions.
Three People
As you go along your quest you will find three people.
The first person will speak all the right words. When they are done and you ask them to explain, deeper, what they mean, their responses are nothing more than a word salad and in the end lean into their talking points. This person is a “teacher”, they know only what they have been told to learn.
In this case you need to move away from this person. They are a “single book” person who has not lived their topic and are only telling you what they have only just learned.
The second person will speak at a high level. They have a great depth of knowledge on the topic. When you ask them specific questions, they have all the answers you are looking for. When you ask them to elaborate and expand the topic to include other topics, they tell you that it’s too difficult to explain, or that you wouldn’t understand.
In this case you need to stay away from this person. They have put the time in and studied the topic from the snout to the tail. This person is an “expert”. What they can’t do is think outside the box. They can’t speak about how their topic exists or reacts to other topics.
The third person is humble about their information. They have studied their topic to the depth of an expert but then took it one step farther. They have lived their topic to the extent that they have moved from the environment that their topic started in and attached it to other topics. They will make you work for the information but will guide you through the process.
Lean into these people. They know more because they have thought outside the normal patterns and have a hands-on understanding of how far their topic can travel. They know the strengths and weaknesses of their topic, not because they read someone else’s experiences because they have lived them. This person is a “guru”.
Tips on Asking Questions
· Write your questions down. When it comes time to ask questions make sure that you understand what you don’t understand.
· Stay away from contextual examples. This person does not work with the people you work with. Each situation and each environment are specific. “What would you do …” is not a good questioning format. Outside the environment where your example happened to you this speaker can be brash and blunt because they won’t have to deal with the fallout.
· Make sure your question remains a question. Do not allow your chance to question the speaker become an interrogation to prove you’re smarter than they are. If you don’t agree. Ask the question where you differ. If you still disagree, move on.
· Ask your question, don’t waste time. If the speaker has become your hero, that’s fine, don’t throw too many flowers at the speaker. Get to your question.
· What if you have more than one question? Hold your questions until after the presentation. On the side the person with the answers will have the opportunity to help you understand what you need to know. Or you will understand what the person doesn’t know.
Moving Forward
Stop being afraid of asking a question in a group setting. Most of the time you are asking the question that most of the other people have, they just lack the passion to ask it. If they don’t, they probably don’t understand the topic well enough to know that their questions NEEDED to be asked.
Know who you are listening to. Just because this person has been brought in to speak to you doesn’t mean that they know anymore than you do. Listen, take notes and understand who you are listening to. Is this a teacher, an expert or a guru? They’ll tell you who they are if you listen close enough.
When it comes time to asking questions, make sure you understand why you are there. Did you get the answers you needed? If not, was the person able to answer your questions? By this I mean, are you smarter than the presenter? If so, move on. If not, learn as much as you can.
If they still have more, ask them if you can continue your conversation at a later time. Email and video calls are very helpful when you are on a quest.
In the end, continue to move forward. Always seek more information. When you know everything about your topic and how it relates to things around it then you will become a guru and possibly a mentor.
As you find these people, and continue to ask questions, you will move closer to finishing your life’s puzzle.
Have an amazing day!
