Three People You Need in Your Life: Lifters – Guides - Challengers
“You cannot teach a person anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves.”
- Galileo Galilei
This life is hard. It’s too big for us to try to do it on our own. For those who are “lone wolves” let me remind you that the lone wolf doesn’t survive long on its own. There are too many pitfalls. Too many problems that we can’t solve on our own.
What we need are people around us that lift us, that guide us and those that will challenge us.
Lifters
Those who lift us will inspire us to be better than we are. As humans we can get complacent. We get into our routines … or ruts … you can call them what you want, but in the end, you are stuck. Those who push us to be more will be the ones that understand, not only who we are, but who we can be.
Sometimes these people can be hard to be around because they are constantly not satisfied with where we are and will keep asking the hard questions. Not, “what did you do today”, instead, “How are you going to get better tomorrow.”
Those who lift us want only the best for us. They are the ones that we need to lean into. They are the ones that, after you tell them all that you did today, will ask you when you are going to get your next project started.
I had the great opportunity to meet two young business people this past weekend. I asked them what they did. They told me. I then asked the “lifting question”, “Is this your passion?” When they struggled with their answer to that, I hit them again with, “Why are you chasing your passion … and don’t give me an excuse, tell me why.” This stunned them both. They hadn’t thought about “What’s Next”, only on what they are presently doing.
We need the people who lift us to keep us from being average, those who have no secrets to becoming successful.
Guides
Those who guide us help us bridge the distance between where we are and where we are meant to be.
Vince Anderson was a guide for me. Vince is a speed coach. He is, in my estimation, the best speed coach in the world. When I got to the University of Tennessee, Vince took me under his wing, and taught me most everything I know about speed development in athletes. Because he did this, I was able to change gifted, but technically flawed athletes, into national and world champions.
People like Vince are willing to guide you without any compensation. They believe it is their duty to pass on what they know so that others can be successful. They are at the level of Significance (I define successful as those who accomplish their goals and achieve their dreams. I define significance as those who help others to accomplish their goals and achieve their dreams.)
The guides in my life have helped me to become the person I am today. Personally, and professionally, I am who I am because of those who have spent their valuable time guiding through the hard parts of life. The points that have caused others to become stuck. Because of their kindness and generosity, I have been able to take my meager talents to places that I only dreamt of being.
Guides aren’t “know-it-alls” they just know how to do what they do. They won’t invade your space to make you listen. But when you are ready (“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”) and you are willing to humble yourself to ask the “stupid questions” and then listen to understand, these guides will take you farther down your path, faster than all of the others who are on a similar path you are on. The difference between you and them is that you were ready for messages and to find out how little you actually know.
Find the guides in your life by understanding what you are lacking. Then humble yourself and ask them to help you. They will … if you are ready.
Challengers
These are the ones that are hard to be around. They will challenge you at every turn.
These are the ones who are the truth tellers in your life. They will let you know that you have lost your way. They are the ones who will tell you when you have stopped following the way. They will tell you that you are listening to the wrong people, and why they think that.
These are the ones who won’t mince words with you. They will tell you what is on their mind. When you chase some other “butterfly” (idea or project) they will stand back and watch you burn your fuel. They know that you must find out on your own. But they won’t turn their back on you.
They will be the one constant in your life. They are the lighthouse, the North Star, the rising sun in the east. They become elemental in your life.
They are hard to be around because you can’t fool them. They know who you are. It is easy to fool yourself, or to be fooled by others, the challengers are the ones who after the fact you always think, “Damn, they were right”.
Don’t mix up the challengers for those that are the negative anchors in your life. Remember, there are two types of anchors, those that stop you from crashing onto the rocks, and those who stop you from becoming all you are meant to be. The challenger is the one that can stop you from crashing onto the rocks.
Find those who challenge you and ask them why they disagree. When they tell you, they are telling you the truth, no matter how much it hurts, you can either listen or end up beaten and bloodied on the rocks. The good news is that the challengers in your life will be there to help you pick up the pieces.
Lifters, Guides and Challengers
These three types of people are the ones who push, teach and understand what we need to be successful. If you speak to anyone who is successful, they will have these people on their speed dial. They know how vital it is that they keep in touch with these people.
Find these people. Keep them close. Listen, embrace and learn from them in every aspect of your life. IF you want to be successful. If you choose not to, then go and listen to those who only agree with you all of the time and are in your life not to help you, but to help themselves.
It’s your choice. You’re all adults.
Have an amazing day!
