Three Internal Battles That Shape Our Lives
“The greatest battles of life are fought out daily in the silent chambers of the soul.”
- David McKay
We all face our own set of unique challenges and struggles during our lives.
From our first breath, we're thrust into a battle for survival. This fight continues, evolving as we do, until our last breath. Some of these battles are colossal, their end never in sight. Though they may seem significant at the time, others fade into insignificance over time.
All of these battles do one very important thing: they shape who we become.
As I was outlining this article, my list of “personal battles” kept growing. I thought this might be a great book one day. For now, I’ll limit the focus of this writing to three battles that I consider consistent in everyone’s life.
Most of the time, these battles are not physical conflicts on a battlefield but more internal struggles that test one's strength, resilience and character.
The First Battle:
The first battle that we face is the battle with Self-Doubt. This is probably the most difficult and continuous fight that we will go through. There is a constant tug-of-war between what we desire and what we fear, as well as our ambitions and insecurities. It is the battle to overcome self-doubt and silence that our inner critic tells us that we aren’t good enough or capable enough. It is about learning to love ourselves unconditionally, flaws and all, and embracing our uniqueness without seeking validation from others.
Self-doubt has been the sticking point for so many talented people that I have worked with during my career. Most recently, I worked with a first-time competitor in a bodybuilding competition. The self-doubt was so strong that this person contemplated not competing. After recalibrating her mindset, she asked me not to come to the competition. I asked, “Are other audience members going to be asked to leave the auditorium when you go on stage?” my friend said, “No.” I then smiled and said, “I will be there.”
She came in second in her classification. The person who won was 30 years younger and had competed in other events. My client was smiling from ear to ear. She had pushed through the preparation and then the show and crushed both.
Our final conversation of the evening had my friend excitedly discussing the next competition. Because she had pushed through her self-doubt, she had grown immeasurably.
The Second Battle:
The second battle we face is the Battle with Adversity. Life is unpredictable and throws curveballs at us when we least expect them. Whether facing a personal tragedy, dealing with a major setback in our career, or navigating through a difficult relationship – adversity comes in many forms and tests our resilience.
This battle teaches us to reach deep within ourselves in the face of challenges, adapt to change gracefully and hold on to our blessings, even in the darkest of times.
During these times, I always refer to a Randy Pausch quote from his book The Last Lecture. The quote goes, “The walls are not there to stop us. They are there to see how badly we want what we are pursuing.”
If I had stopped coaching after my first losing season, God only knows where I would be and what I would be doing right now. These “walls” that were preventing me from obtaining my dream of being a Super Bowl champion were there to see how hard I would work to get to the top. It was a slow process. From the inception of my dream to the completion, it took forty years. I ran into so many walls and detours that by the time I got to the NFL level, I had more answers than there were questions.
I could only do this if I continued to fight Adversity with a positive, “We’ll see about that” attitude that I learned from my mother.
The Third Battle:
The third battle we face is the Battle for Fulfillment. In today's world, where success is often measured by external factors such as wealth, status, or fame – it can be easy to lose sight of what truly brings us joy and fulfillment.
This battle is about finding purpose in life, pursuing passions that ignite our souls, and finding the quarters in life that bring out the best in us. It's about living a life that is true to who we are and aligning our actions with our values so that we can continually string mini-victories together daily.
Fulfillment does not come when we stop working on our goals and dreams and only focus on accomplishing others’ dreams.
I helped the Seattle Seahawk organization win a Super Bowl. But I was also working towards my dream of winning a Super Bowl, which I had worked on since I was ten. I saw it as the entire organization working to accomplish my dream. All I had to do was hold up my end and help the team be physically and mentally prepared each time they went out to compete.
In the end, the organization’s dreams were fulfilled, and so were mine. A very symbiotic relationship.
Conclusion:
As we move through these “battles” in our lives, remember that each struggle shapes us into a stronger and, hopefully, wiser individual. Look at each individual “fight” with these challenges as opportunities for growth and positive change. And always remember that no matter how tough things may seem, we have the strength to overcome any obstacle that comes our way.
So, go into the battlefield of life – armed with courage, resilience, and unwavering determination. Your greatest victories are right in front of you. And know that your greatest successes are just on the other side of these battles.
Have an amazing day!
