Resist the Tug
“He who conquers others is strong. He who conquers himself is mighty.”
- Lao Tzu
When I was young, my friends and I would go down to one of the three rivers that came together in Mason City, Iowa (aka “River City” from the Broadway show “The Music Man”) and catch “crawdads” or crayfish.
It wasn’t unusual to catch a bucket full in 5 – 10 minutes as we walked down the bank of the river. The one thing that I thought was interesting about these “rock lobsters” was that when one was working his way to the top of the bucket, to escape, one of his brethren would reach up and pull him back into the pile at the bottom of the bucket. I never really thought much about it until I got older and my professional career began to grow and flourish.
I began to observe (because I am a “professional watcher”) how people who were once on the fast-track to success all of sudden were being held back by people from their past. They were being told they didn’t need to chase their dreams.
Recently a young coach, that I had mentored earlier in my career, contacted me to see if I would give them a recommendation. I asked what “job” they looking in to, because I still have contacts in the strength profession. They said it was a job at a start-up tech company.
This person was a great coach. Very smart. Great work ethic. High energy. Single. Loyal to a fault.
The conversation went like this:
Me: “Why are you leaving the “business” (coaching).”
Young Coach: “My (significant other) doesn’t like the hours that I’m working.”
Me: “Do you think you are working too many hours?”
Young Coach: “No, it’s all part of the business, and I love every minute I get to spend with the athletes.”
Me: “Then why are you leaving the profession you were made for?
Young Coach: Pause … “So, will you give me a recommendation?”
Right in front of me I watched a human crawdad pull another human back into the pile of mediocrity so that they wouldn’t have to be alone.
Perception vs Reality
True, many professions call for ambitious workers to work long hours and offer short pay early in the process. While other profession will pay you more, to work less, but offer very little on the back end.
When you are young the dollar signs blind you. We don’t realize that the dead-end job is offering you more because they know no one, with any ambition, would work for the company because the work is mind numbing with no future.
Whereas the long hours and short pay job as a reason for its business plan. This type of profession is trying to cull out the lazy and unfit because they only want those with passion and resilience.
Sure, these jobs don’t fit your friends party schedule, but that doesn’t mean you are wasting your time. And the truth of the matter is that those who are trying to hold you back now, won’t be more than a memory when you reach the top of your profession.
Instead of you changing your professional ambition, maybe they need to change their professional outlook to match yours? But they won’t.
Work vs Passion Quiz:
How do you know if you are on the right path? Take this quick quiz.
Part I:
When they wake up in the morning is getting out of bed a Get To thing or a Got To thing?
When they talk about their job are they complaining or exclaiming?
When they get home from work are they still trying to figure out how to do your job better?
Do they constantly talk about how they need more money?
Do they hate when work is busy?
Will this job lead them farther up their path to accomplish their dreams?
Part II: Now you answer these questions:
When you wake up in the morning is getting out of bed a Get To thing or a Got To thing?
When you talk about your job are you complaining or exclaiming?
When you get home from work, are you still trying to figure out how to do your job better?
Do you constantly talk about how you need more money?
Do you hate when work is busy?
Will this job lead you farther up your path to accomplish your dreams?
Are you doing the same thing they are? It’s a Got To thing when the alarm goes off. You complain about your work and the people you work with. You try to get the job off your plate as soon as you walk out the office door. You always want to get paid like someone else. You hate when things get busy. This job is just a placeholder until your real dream opens up.
Or, are you the person who can’t wait to get going in the morning. Who talks about what a great day they had at work. You always are trying to figure out how to be the best, in every way. Money will come, but for now you can pay your bills. You love when the rush comes and you get to do what you are made for. Because this is your life’s passion.
This is like the story of the Three Cowboy’s in my book, Move or Die (Chapter 2: Which One Are You?). Each person has their own path. They have their own endpoint. Each see’s themselves as doing all they can do to accomplish their goals so they can achieve their dreams. But only one is truly trying to be the best. Which one are you?
Get To vs Got To
Not everyone that we come into contact during our life are focused on being the best. Sure, they would like more out of life, but then that would take effort. That would take risk. That desire would make them uncomfortable. If life were easy, then everyone would have a mansion. Because the game of life is hard very few achieve earn their mansion.
So many of those with tremendous potential never make it, not because they weren’t good enough, but because they allow others in their life to determine what is right or wrong. What is good enough and what is too difficult. What the other person should be doing.
They are like the other crayfish in that bucket. As one of them starts to move higher, they pull them back down, so they can suffer the same as they are.
Resist that tug. Fight the pull. Make your own way. Stay away from mediocre people. Seach out those who are “busy” all the time accomplishing their goals, on the way to achieving their dreams. Look for those who are willing to pull you UP to their level!
Have an amazing day!
