The Path of the Elite Performer
Path: A trodden way – a track specially constructed for a particular use.
(Merriam-Webster)
“PATH”, I use that word a lot when I speak about your journey from where you are to who you have always wanted to be.
In my mind, the term “path” is more descriptive, more individualistic. In my mind, you can be on the same journey as the person sitting next to you, but you each have your own path.
Most people don’t realize that your path started the day you were born.
My path started in Elmhurst, Illinois and I entered into a family with two children in it already. I went from the youngest to eventually the middle child. My son, on the other hand, started his path in a Neo-natal ICU unit in Knoxville, Tennessee, after being “taken” (emergency C-Section) because my wife, Louon had developed HELLP Syndrome. We were told they needed to take him or I would lose both of them. Louon made it through the surgery and Alex was born, eight weeks premature, weighing a little more than four pounds. He’s now 6’3” / 215 pounds and has no lasting effect from the chaos of his birth. He became an only child when the doctor said the chances of the complications happening again were high and they would come around earlier in the pregnancy. We got one … we weren’t going to gamble on any more.
All of the things that happen in your life count. They can alter your course. They can either push you farther or divert you from where you thought you wanted to go. For some, these changes in course can mean that they lose track of their dreams and goals. They go off on tangents that put them in a world that they never could have imagined being in.
Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University gave a talk called “The Last Lecture”.
The University had set up this type of talk previous to Pausch speaking, telling the presenter that if they could give one last presentation, what would it be? For Pausch, who had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was only given months to live, this was his last lecture.
In his talk he says, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.” This is an amazing quote. I read his book in 2012. It really helped me realize that I was one of those who had several “brick walls” along my path, but I always found a way over, around, under or I found someone to help me over the wall. I had my goal of winning a Super Bowl since I was 10. I finally accomplished this goal forty years later.
What is your biggest dream?
Are you on your path to achieve it? Have you allowed a wall or a dozen walls to take you off your path? If you aren’t on your path, can you find your way back? The game is never over, as long as you are still willing to play.
The first thing we need to do is to do a quick personal assessment. For this you will need to grab something to write with. Next, and this will be impossible for some, you need to leave your excuses behind. You must be willing to tell yourself the hard truth and to accept it as the truth. This is the hardest thing for us to do, to be truthful with ourselves. We get into one of two worlds; we aren’t as good as people perceive us to be OR we are not as bad as people perceive us to be.
We’ll end up somewhere on the spectrum. Remember you must be truthful. From this point forward you must accept that you are to blame for your current state of being. When we forgive ourselves for our mistakes by blaming them on someone else, we won’t understand that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.
We take control when we own our state of being. When we do this then we are able to move forward. If we don’t, and we want to blame our parents, our relationships, and not ourselves we’ll never MOVE forward.
I could have blamed the physical handicap that I was born with that led doctors to believe that I would be handicapped my whole life. My parents would not accept that, my mom said, “We’ll see.”
I could have blamed the fact that I knocked out my two front teeth at an early age and developed a speech impediment that led a speech therapist to limit my professional horizons, when she said I wouldn’t be a public speaker, and my mom said, “We’ll see.”
I could have tapped out when as a senior in high school I only weighed 185 pounds and was on the offensive line where 225 – 250 pounds were more common. But I didn’t. I worked harder than anyone else and put the time in on the skills I did have to earn a college scholarship.
I was a “C” student in high school. I could have decided that college wasn’t for me. But I didn’t. I found classes that interested me and ended up making the Dean’s list in three semesters in my final two years of college.
I could have laid in bed after being diagnosed with cancer and being told that I only had a 40% chance of surviving. Or when the Chemo nurse said I would lose all my hair and not be able to work once the Chemo processes started. But I didn’t. I actually took a job that tripled my responsibilities and my energy and time input. This expenditure of my energy helped a team to win seven straight conference championships and play for three national championships in 9 years.
If I allowed myself to blame the “walls” that got in my way I would have never achieved the heights that my career was able to ascend to. I knew who I was. I knew what I wanted to achieve. And I knew that no one, or nothing on this earth was going to stop me from doing that. Randy Pausch was right, “They’re (the brick walls) there to stop the other people.”
So, take out that piece of paper and fold it in half. On the left side write down everything that is good about you. On the left write down all the things that aren’t so good.
My Personal Assessment
Strengths Weaknesses
Relentless / Empathy for those who don’t use all their skills
Leader / Tolerance for those who don’t try
Motivated / Strong Willed
Learner / Stubborn
Here is a version of my assessment. I will outwork you every day of the week. I will take the lead in every opportunity that is in my wheelhouse. I want to be the best and will work for that outcome. I always need to learn more about how to do what I do, to do it better.
My weaknesses are dealing with people who are not as motivated as I am. I have a huge issue with people who do not use all of their “crayons” (talents). I have pity for those who want to tap out when things get hard. I believe that everyone can become the best version of themselves and I won’t quit on them, until they quit on themselves to the point that trying anymore is pointless.
When you look at who you are, do you see some huge misses when you see what you perceive as your strengths and weaknesses and what your dream position will ask you to do? If working with other people is a weakness of yours and you want to be a teacher, you might want to reevaluate your vehicle to help others. If you want to become a specialist in Japanese history, but you don’t speak Japanese and you aren’t willing to learn, this could be a big issue.
Much like if one of your strengths was being high energy and outgoing, then you might now want to be a monk. Even though your passion may be to serve your God. You might better serve your passion by being an evangelist or a religious motivational speaker.
Once you know who you are then you can push on with your assessment. The next list will be about what you love to do and what you hate to do
LOVE / HATE Assessment
Love To Do Hate To Do
Love to work with people / Hate to work with unmotivated people
Love to teach / Hate doing paper work
Love to laugh / Hate meeting to talk about meeting
Love to learn / Hate to be told what is wrong, is right
Love seeing new things / Hate to listen to people who I don’t respect
Love being w/my family & friends / Hate to be around people who are late
When I look at my list, I can see that I need to be in a teaching environment. One that allows me to let my personality control the tempo and the pace of the day. I see that I am curious to see and know more so I can better present my ideas to those around me.
I also can see that I don’t like to be enclosed in an office situation. Too many times there will be a daily meeting to speak about the next meeting they are going to have. During that meeting people who read off their PowerPoint presentation because they are not well versed in what they are presenting. Most of the time what they are talking about has already been tried and it didn’t work the first time, and it won’t work this time. Just because they are late to the trends doesn’t mean the whole organization needs to wade through the swamp to come up with the same conclusion.
Look at what you love to do and what you hate to do. If getting up in the morning is a “hate” thing then joining the military might be an issue. The same goes for if you hate to get criticized … again you might avoid the military. They seem to have an affinity for getting up early and yelling at their young people.
But if you love to sleep, and also to stay up late working on projects, you might want to get into a freelance profession that will allow you to establish your own work hours. But that’s the value of doing these assessments. See who you are, measure your dream job against these requirements and then make an educated choice on where you are wanting to end up.
Now let’s do a final assessment. You will need to research your dream job and find out what are the requirements to get into the field.
Professional Needs Assessment
Goal: Win a Super Bowl
Needs Limitations
Be a great athlete/football player / I was a “good” football player not “great”
Be a coach / Need to climb the ladder of coaching
College Coach / Need Master’s Degree / Connections
Major College Head Coach / Need to outwork and perform others in field
NFL Coach / Need connections to become NFL coach
Develop Team Culture / Earn athletes’ trust so they will listen and learn
Become the best coach in my area / Learn how to get the most out of your players
Build a team through hard work / Mentally prepare athletes to be the best
This is the assessment I went through to see if I was willing to put the time and effort in to achieve what I wanted to achieve. I wasn’t a good enough player to win a Super Bowl as an athlete so I needed to transition my path from being an Athlete to being a Coach.
To earn my Master’s degree, my wife and I had to sacrifice a lot, but had we not, I’m not sure how things would have worked out. Like I’ve said before, I have had one job interview in my life. The rest of the jobs were there for me because of my reputation and that people wanted me to be part of their organization. The development of athletes is all about gaining their trust through being consistent and communicating. When you have these two parts, the athlete will then do what you need them to do, so they can become who they want to be. The head football coach, in my situation, developed the culture of the team, but it was my job to allow it to become part of the strength program. Once there was a connection between what we did in our preparation mode and the performance mode, things became very easy.
If you want to be in the computer science profession but you can’t handle the time put into coding, then don’t count out that as a profession. You may love to work on projects that are in the field of design. Steve Jobs made his mark with design, not on coding, he left that to people who found that as their passion. The same with me. I made my mark as a coach, not a player, I didn’t have the gifts to be a player, but found my path behind the scenes. In the end, I accomplished my dream.
And there you have it. Three steps to become who you want to be. If there are holes in your plan you will need to understand who you are and who you are not, what you love to do and what you don’t, and finally are you willing to climb the ladder to become who you want to be.
Continue following my blog and you will continue to find answers to your professional and personal questions.
