Never Doubt Yourself Again
“If you don’t believe in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to believe in you?”
- Dallas Carlisle
The biggest killer of your dreams is … the person you see in the mirror everyday of your life!
The biggest reason for your success is … the person you see in the mirror everyday of your life!
You have all the control.
Did you know that? If you did, are you where you always dreamt you would be at this time of your life? If not, maybe you didn’t really know that you were the reason for your present situation.
You know it’s really easy for us to blame others for our troubles.
It was your home environment … There are numerous examples, that I have experienced, of people who grew up “harder” than you and came out the other end at the top of their game.
I got mixed up with the wrong people. You chose to be with those people. You weren’t kidnapped. But that was then, why haven’t you gotten out of that “hole” you put yourself in and moved on with your life? Again, I can give you several examples of people who started out hard and found their way to the top.
Whatever reason you have, I have an example of people who got out of the same situation and made it to the top. It has nothing to do with race, religion, sexual orientation or identification, economics or education. It all has to do with YOU not getting out of your own way to become who you always dreamt to be.
I was a kid born with a physical handicap, developed a speech impediment, fought through his own arrogance, ignorance and inflexibility. Overcame major car and chicken fan accidents. And beat cancer. And I ended up on top of my game. So, don’t bring any excuses to me. I’ve done battle and climbed my way out of my own shit and the others that people threw at me.
How? How did you do it – more importantly how did those who you talked about above do it?
Three things link all those who are successful together.
1) We all had passion that burned in us to succeed.
2) We trusted ourselves more than anything else in the world.
3) We persevered through hard times because we wouldn’t let our dreams be extinguished.
How Do I Get That?
You may now be wondering how do I get those three things?
You already have them. Look inside … they are there. Those who succeed are not unicorns. These three traits (Passion / Trust / Perseverance) are not like intelligence or beauty. They are all about YOU!
The key is understanding how to pull them out from their hiding spots.
Passion
Passion is all about finding what you can’t live without. Too many get wrapped up in jobs because they provide the means to survive. That’s all a salary does, it gives you the means to buy what you need, and unfortunately what you don’t need. And that’s where those who aren’t focused lose their passion.
Those who are more focused on how much they get paid will always be working for someone else’s dreams. They pay you just enough to keep you around to do their work for them. When you could be spending that time working on your dreams.
I was making a teacher’s salary, living rent free, and gave it up to become a Graduate Assistant, making $400 a month / ten months of the year. Rent was $450 a month / 12 months of the year. I did this so I could chase my passion. I didn’t starve. I was able to find a way to find a way. Nothing was going to stop me on my path to achieve my dreams.
What are you willing to do without to achieve your dreams? If you can’t think of anything you will give up then your dream isn’t your passion. Your dream, you will quit on it, because it seems like it’s too far away, but your passion, that’s like giving up breathing. You know you can’t survive without it.
When you find that thing that means more than life itself, then you have found your passion. Now chase that passion.
Once you have found your passion then it’s time to find your TRUST.
Trust
Trust is no more than believing in yourself and your ability to accomplish the goals that will lead you to achieving your dreams.
This is what trips up most people. They either don’t believe they have what it takes to achieve their dream, or they have been told that they are good enough. In either case they ended up giving up on their dreams.
They found it easier to not put in the effort to achieve what they most wanted in this world. They gave up on themselves. “Why fight the fight if I’m only going to lose in the end?” is what they ask themselves.
Then the worst thing in the world happens. People that they know didn’t have one-tenth of their ability or talent … make it to the top. This doesn’t fit in their narrative, so they begin to make excuses for why they didn’t accomplish what they had dreamt to do.
The sad part is that they can STILL accomplish the goals to make it to the top. But they still won’t believe that they can get out, and those who are “stuck” with them won’t help them get out, because misery loves company. If you get out, those who were with you look worse. They can’t have that. So, when you begin to dream, they are the first to tell you how you aren’t good enough, that you don’t have all the “perks” that you need to have to get to the top.
My father didn’t have a college education. But he ended up running a railroad division that was the biggest producer of capital for the company. His staff was made up of a bunch of college graduates who learned from him. He was smart enough to always bring “workers” on to his staff. Those who worked from the bottom to the top, so that he always had a connection to reality and was not lost in “textbook theory”.
Trusting yourself begins with understanding where your greatest skills and abilities lie. These are your “crayons”. Everyone has different crayons (skills and abilities) you just need to find yours. It’s okay to be different from anyone else.
Once you understand what your crayons are you will need to put them to use every day. Those who don’t succeed have a bunch of crayons, but they keep them in the box, and never bring them out.
When you become comfortable with what makes you unique then you will need to start using positive self-talk. It’s okay to tell yourself that you are unique and talented. It’s okay to talk about being successful and what you are going to do. Notice I didn’t say: what you would “like” to do, or what you “want” to do. Only tell yourself your truth. You will succeed and nothing will stop you.
Next you need to get away from those people who pull you down. Those who don’t want you to leave them behind. The anchors who stop you from becoming who you were always meant to be.
Lean into those who are willing to help you become who you are supposed to be. These people will not want anything for their efforts. You succeeding will be all the payment they will ever need. These people are your Quarters. Your “truth-tellers”. Those who will tell you that you are special. But in the same way they will tell you that you need to work harder. They will tell you when you are getting away from the plan. These people are essential in your climb. They will give you the positive messaging that will carry you forward in your pursuit of your goals and dreams.
Now that you have your PASSION and your TRUST you will need to find your PERSEVERANCE.
Perseverance
Perseverance is the third part of becoming successful. Once your passion is blazing like a furnace inside of you, and you trust who you, are those around you, we must now prepare for the hard times. Being successful isn’t easy, if it was then it would be called being “normal”. And there is nothing normal about successful people.
They think differently. They walk differently. They speak differently. Why? Because they have perspective. They have overcome every obstacle that was came upon with the intent of stopping them.
Randy Pausch put it best when he said, “The brick walls are not there to stop you but to see how badly you want something. The brick walls are there for other people.”
When you go through the trials and tribulations to become successful you now have more answers which makes you think different. Because you have not given up you walk with a certain kind of pride, like a lion walking on the savannah. When you have studied your craft long enough, and you know the answers before you hear the questions, you speak from a place of knowledge, you aren’t guessing any more. You know how you got to the top and you are willing to help those who are willing to ask the “stupid questions”.
Perseverance is about pushing through in the hard times. It is knowing that something that is good is just around the next corner, or the next or even the next. But it doesn’t matter, your passion will push you through when you are on the right path.
When you have your passion and trust, you will never doubt who you are, where you are going and if you are going to make it. It gets hard. It gets lonely. People will come and go in your life because they don’t have your vision. They did not share your passion. They did not believe like you believe. They weren’t built to be successful.
But you are.
Now go find your Passion – your Trust – and your Perseverance and get on your way. Start now.
Have an amazing day!
