Go Ahead, Take That First Step
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Every journey begins with that first step, yet that first step often feels like climbing a mountain or dropping off the edge of a bottomless abyss. Whether it’s starting a new project, going to the gym for the first time, or making a life-changing decision, the anticipation can cause us to freeze up. Why is this initial step so scary? And how can we shift our perspective to embrace rather than resist this pivotal moment?
What If?
In my book Move or Die, I relate the story of my failing Beginners III swim lessons (three times) because I couldn’t accomplish the last task—jumping into the deep end.
I’m reminded of those moments quite often. Standing on the edge of the diving board, heart racing, staring down into the blue abyss. I had conjured up all of the bad things that could happen. I never thought about the benefits of simply jumping into the deep might have brought me.
Taking that first step was impossible because I buried a great opportunity under negativity. I could not understand that I might jump in and never return to the surface. Even though several lifeguards surrounded me, some had been invited to compete in the Olympic tryouts. I watched classmate after classmate jump in, rise to the surface, and paddle over to the edge of the pool, but when it came to my turn, I didn’t see anything positive coming out of it.
Think about your life. How many things have you turned away from because you thought only about what negative things might happen due to your “jumping in?”
As you look back, are you a little embarrassed by your actions “in the moment”?
I know I am. I use that time of my life as a motivator in my life endeavors so that I never do that again.
The difficulty in taking that first step comes from fear—a fear of failure, judgment, and, believe it or not, even success. According to psychologists, our freezing up comes from deep in our brain's natural inclination to avoid discomfort and to seek safety. When venturing into unfamiliar territory, the stakes feel high, leading us to cling tightly to what is within our comfort zone.
What Can Be
When I go out to speak today or meet one-on-one with my clients, I see them standing on my diving board, staring into their own personal “abyss.” These people are not six- or seven-year-olds. These are head coaches, athletes, and C-Suite professionals who have no problem making correct decisions in the moment, but when they are given time to think about the proposition in front of them, they struggle.
The first step in starting anything can be very exciting. Unfortunately, the longer we hesitate, the more likely the moment will transition from excitement to fear.
Studies upon studies have been done to try to understand that moment when your mind freezes. The decision pushes us out of our comfort zone. In the pool, I was very comfortable in the shallow end, where I could stand up if I struggled. But the deep end was outside of what was “easy” for me.
The influential people I work with are being asked to move out of their “shallow end,” where they are comfortable making decisions and into less comfortable depths.
Instead of allowing them to continue to build up their fears, I rephrased the outcome from an opportunity for disaster to a chance for positive change and growth.
Redirecting the Perception
Instead of viewing fear as a wall, consider it a compass guiding you along a path to success. When we embark on something new, our brains become flooded with thoughts about failure or inadequacy. But what if we reframed those feelings? Instead of asking ourselves what could go wrong, let’s ask what could go right.
I know this seems “too easy,” but I want you to think about it: the last time you froze, was it because of all the good things that could happen, or was it the negative things that “could happen?” Of course, it was what “might happen”, but if you had first considered all of the benefits and growth that could come from making the change, would you have made the move?
How Do I Refocus My Perspective?
So how do we stop from freezing up? Here are a few tools to add to your mental toolbox:
· Set Small Goals: Break the issue you are dealing with into manageable chunks—each small goal becomes its mile marker on the way to conquering your fear.
· Visualize Success: Spend time imagining yourself achieving your goal; visualization can motivate you during challenging moments. Start with the good that CAN happen, not the negative.
· Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who inspire you or have dealt with similar issues; their encouragement can help alleviate anxiety, allowing you to overcome that initial hesitation.
· Understand the Issue at Hand: Too often, we make a mountain out of a molehill. Are we making this bigger than it really is? Do some research into others who have overcome this issue and how they did it.
· Reflect on Past Triumphs: Never doubt yourself and your ability to overcome the hurdles life has thrown at you. Remember all of the times that you overcame bigger issues than this. Believe in yourself and take that first step.
Go Ahead, Take That First Step
As you stand at your personal diving board—whether contemplating starting that business you've dreamed about or picking up an instrument for the first time—remember this: every great journey begins with you having the courage to take that first step into uncertainty.
Embrace the struggle because within it lies growth waiting just beyond your comfort zone—and remember: while the first step may indeed be the hardest… it's also where magic happens!
Have an amazing day!
