From Stuck to Significance
“Life is one big transition.”
- Willie Stargell
I finally cracked the code!! “Of what?” you may ask. The transition from one stage of your life to the next!
After 35 years as a coach, I have successfully transitioned into my next life. Let me tell you, the transition wasn’t difficult, but it took a plan.
Five years ago, I embarked on a journey to transform my life. I refused to be a spectator, watching life get marginalized because I was not chasing my passion anymore. Instead, I crafted a plan to ensure that the second half of my life would be even more successful and full of life.
As my plan took shape, I realized I wasn't alone in this transition. Many of my friends were also grappling with similar feelings. It wasn't just a 'retirement' phase issue but a universal struggle. I found this same sentiment echoed in the voices of young people yearning for a more fulfilling life.
Young and old alike began to realize that life was not working out like they had imagined. They were quickly moving from stuck to stagnation. Stuck is when there is little movement. Stagnation occurs when all movement stops, and you begin to accept your plight.
Fortunately, I saw the end of one career coming and had started my plan the day I moved from Seattle to Arizona. I hadn’t let my life get stuck, and thankfully, I never stagnated.
Fighting Stagnation
We often find ourselves stuck in routines and habits that no longer work for us. I no longer had to get up at 4:30 a.m. or adhere to a philosophy that had become disengaged from what I knew was correct.
Moving away from being stuck, we look for change, growth, and transformation that will lead us toward a brighter future. If you're feeling stagnant and looking for ways to shake things up, look no further. I found ten distinct ideas that I adapted to my life. Each of these worked together to improve my life.
Look Inside:
The first step towards changing your life is to take a good look at yourself. Spend time reflecting on your values, goals, and desires. What aspects of your life do you want to improve? What changes do you need to make to live a more fulfilling life? When we genuinely dig inside ourselves, we can understand where we are now and where we want to be.
Once I figured out that football was a vehicle that allowed me to chase my true passion, helping others become who they were meant to be, I wanted to continue on this path. In my last three years of coaching, I had begun to speak to businesses, corporate leaders, and sports teams. I loved doing it. It fit right in my wheelhouse, and I knew I wanted to continue doing this for the rest of my career.
S.M.A.R.T. Goals:
Once you have figured out the areas of your life that need improvement, it's time to set specific goals. Make sure your goals are SMART. By this I mean that they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound (SMART). Setting SMART goals will give you direction and motivation as you work towards making positive changes in your life.
As a motivational speaker, it was vital that I finally finished my book, which I had been working on for the last twenty-five years. I had the time to focus on achieving this goal. I went to work, and in a year and a half, with help from my editor, Katie Rios, I finished my book – Move or Die.
Become Comfortable Being Uncomfortable:
Change often requires stepping out of your comfort zone. Take risks, try new things, and push yourself beyond what feels safe and familiar. Growth happens when we challenge ourselves and embrace the unknown.
Before I made my transition, I was a prolific writer … of things that only I would read. Now, I am writing blogs and creating social media posts that thousands of people read weekly. I write everything myself, not some lackey wordsmith or an AI program that will spit out racy subject matter and politically correct content. I would have to bear my soul every week to show people who I am and what I think on some touchy issues. I wasn’t comfortable when I started this process. But as time went on, I became more and more at ease writing from my heart.
Get Healthy:
Changing your life starts with changing your habits. Focus on cultivating healthy habits that support your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Whether it's eating smarter, exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness, or getting enough sleep - small changes in daily habits can lead to significant transformations over time.
As I stepped away from my 12 – 14 hour-a-day work schedule, I knew I would need to keep working on ME. Being in a gym was something that I had been doing for nearly 50 years of my life. As I transitioned into my next step, I brought the benefits of taking care of my body. “Eat Right – Drink Right – Sleep Right” had been a mantra of mine for 35 years as I reminded my athletes to control what they could control in their lives to achieve their goals and dreams. I didn’t need to reinvent the wheel; I just took my own advice, which has paid off in so many ways.
Find Your Quarters:
The people we surround ourselves with have a HUGE impact on our lives. Make sure you surround yourself with positive influences—friends, family members, mentors—who support and encourage your personal growth journey. While you are leaning into the positive in your life, do yourself a favor by moving away from negative influences that hold you back from reaching your full potential.
I lean into my circle of friends who aren’t afraid to tell me when I am getting away from who I am. These are the people who mean the most to me and have been there as I have transitioned to a new, better life.
Appreciate More:
Gratitude is a powerful tool for changing your perspective on life. Take time each day to reflect on what you are grateful for - big or small. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from what you think you are missing out on to appreciating all you have.
Every day when I get out of bed, I say, “Thank” “You” for allowing me to do all that I GET TO do on this day. Before I get into bed, I mentally walk back through my day and appreciate all that I was able to accomplish as I move closer to accomplishing my goals and achieving my dreams.
Student For Life:
One of the best ways to change your life is by continuously learning and growing as an individual. It may be as simple as learning a new way to use your phone or as big as taking classes to evolve into your new life. The key is always to be open to new ideas and techniques. This will keep your mind sharp and hungry for new information.
I have found that if I am cycling through new books on diverse topics, I learn more about how and why people hold the opinions that they do. This will help me to “know the answers before I hear the question. New information makes us hungry to learn more. When we do this, our brains stay young and pliable.
Dump the Baggage:
Holding onto the past can weigh us down and prevent us from moving forward. It's essential to let go of past baggage by forgiving yourself and others. Releasing negative emotions associated with past experiences and focusing on the present moment allows our minds to work on the issues we have in the present.
We can’t change the past. Make peace with the old demons and leave them behind. The only thing that we can affect is the present. How well we do this will directly affect how the future turns out. Keep your head in the “now”; it’s all we can control. Nelson Mandela once said, “I never lose; I either win or I learn.” He had this thing figured out.
Look Deeply into New Ideas:
Change is not an overnight process but it is a journey. Be patient with yourself as you handle the wins and the losses. They are going to happen. Always look for new and better ways to do what you are doing. Embrace change as an opportunity to grow.
One caveat: Never unquestioningly accept new ways. Make sure they are everything they promise to be. Use your Quarters. Be brave enough to ask third parties about their experience with this new idea. Beware of salespeople who promise the “impossible”. It’s impossible for a reason. When you do all of your backchecking, when it all checks out, and you slowly integrate it into your life. You are on your schedule, so take your time in allowing new ideas to become part of your life.
Trust You:
This is the prize at the bottom of the Cracker Jack box. I didn’t put it first because I wondered if you would stick it out this far. If you didn’t care enough to get to the last idea, then you don’t really care.
Trusting yourself is the key to all of this. If you don’t believe in who you are, then you will never be able to accomplish the other nine. Trusting ourselves is the key to any endeavor. All the greats, from Alexander the Great to Jesus, Buddha, Mohammad, Caesar, the Kings and Queens, the billionaires of the industrial era, Jim Brown, and Ted Williams, had one thing in common: They believed in themselves, first and foremost.
They had their moments of doubt, but they trusted themselves that they could make it through any situation they ran into on their way to immortality.
I have always been very confident in my abilities. I understand who I am, so I don't get nervous when I step in front of a room full of realtors, bankers, teachers, musicians, or billionaire CEOs. I know who I am, trust who I am, and trust my preparation. It’s not a gift; it’s something you learn to do based on the mistakes you make in your life. These are the hard lessons that make us who we are.
Never let me believe in you more than you believe in yourself.
Have an amazing day!
