Dualism: Win or Learn vs Win or Lose
“I never lose, I either win or I learn.”
- Nelson Mandela
When I was younger, I was so focused on not losing that I couldn’t enjoy the victories. This all changed when I studied Nelson Mandela. When he said, “I never lose, I either win or I learn”, it struck me like a lightning bolt.
I put down the book I was reading and just stared into space. These words were fighting an internal battle with what I had taken for granted since my first memories.
Vince Lombardi: “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.”
Bobby Knight: “As his team prepares, a coach’s entire being must be concentrated on winning games.”
George S. Patton: “Americans play to win at all times.”
Bear Bryant: “The price of victory is high; but so are the rewards.”
Zig Zigler: “You were born to win.”
John Madden: “Be a winner. Stand for something.”
Lou Holtz: “How you respond to the challenge in the second half will determine whether you are a winner or a loser.”
Ricky Bobby: “If you’re not first, you’re last.”
Winning is not easy. And there is only one winner. Is there no consideration to how you will react when your score isn’t more than your opponent?
Win or Lose
I was 33 – 77 – 1 after my first eleven years in the coaching profession. I wasn’t a loser because I, on average, could only produce three wins a season, I was a loser because I didn’t learn anything from the 111 games, I had been part of as a coach.
I never learned anything except I hated losing. But apparently, I didn’t hate losing enough to change. I was the definition of “insanity” – I kept doing the same thing hoping for a different result. I never could accept that it might not be the team, but maybe it was me. Maybe I wasn’t built to be a head football coach – or an offensive coordinator. Maybe I didn’t have those tools in my tool box.
That couldn’t be the reason.
Learning Not Losing
But then I learned about Nelson Mandela. It was such a blessing that I found Mandela. The Nobel Peace Prize recipient once wrote, “I NEVER LOSE” – right away he had my attention, because I hardly ever won. The great statesman went on to say, “I either win or I learn.”
I would go on to win 285 games after that.
How?
I came to understand that everything happened for a reason. I started to really look into myself as a football coach. The Ikigai says we’re supposed to find something “we’re good at”. Well, I wasn’t a very good football coach, until an epiphany (aka chicken house fan) hit me. I learned very quickly that me, being a bully, was the wrong path, but when I became a teacher, all my dreams would be achieved.
Losing became learning:
How did we scout the opponent? How did we scout ourselves? How did I prepare the team? Were my athlete’s able to do what I asked them to do? Did we work long enough on the fundamentals? Did we work, not till we could get it right, but long enough so we couldn’t get it wrong? All of these questions were part of my preparation for the next opportunity.
When I transitioned in being a strength coach, I would go through a list of questions about how our team performed. Were we conditioned well enough for the environment we were playing in? Did we move better than the opponent? Were we strong enough? Did the athletes finish every play with great effort? I called it a Post Mortem CSI.
My staff would get together after every game and go through our check list. If we found an issue, we would go back through our preparation logs and see where we missed the opportunity to be right, while at the same, how could we ensure that we didn’t have that same issue in future games.
I eventually moved past Mandela’s idea of Winning or Learning and I either Learned or Learned. Winning was no longer part of the equation. Losing wasn’t part of my equation. I needed to know why things happened. I got into understanding the “process” so deep that I can no longer remember which games were recorded as wins and which games were loses, not because I’m old, but because I didn’t focus on winning.
Marcus Aurelius
Eventually I became a Stoic in my approach to games. I was not lifted by winning anymore, I needed to find out, “WHY did we win”. “What could I have done better that would have enabled us to win more decisively.” “How could I have prevented the injuries from happening?”
It became a pursuit of answers and getting as close to perfection in my preparation of my athletes.
There were games we won that I sat on the plane in the deepest funk because I saw so many loose ends. I’ve written about how, after winning Super Bowl 48, I didn’t relish in accomplishing my life’s dream, because I was too busy planning on how we could win the Super Bowl, again.
I was constantly lost in thought. I was consumed with the search to find the best mixture of work and recovery – reps and sets – jumping and running – lifting and flexibility. I have notebooks full of my internal conversations.
I would read or talk to successful coaches, physical therapists and performance professionals. I would take copious amounts of notes on cards as I ate up all the information. I would then go through what they had said and measure it against what I was doing or was planning to do. It never ended. I carried small note books in my back pocket so when I had a thought or a conversation, I could write it down and then later on I could pull out the Sanskrit (my handwriting is a shorthand system that is nearly unreadable by others) and figure how it all fit into the grand scheme.
I was wrestling with larger questions than “Do you think we’ll win this weekend?” That was a given. It would be like wondering if the sun would come up.
The one thing I knew was that if I trained my athletes properly, I would have given them a chance to play at their highest level of physical preparedness. I didn’t call any plays on game day. I made no tackles or catch or throw any passes. So, I didn’t need to focus on that aspect. But I did control the physical mechanisms that allowed the athlete to accomplish what they were taught.
Control What You Control
Moving into the Learning phase of sports put me outside the realm of emotion. If you ever saw me on the sideline, I would have a blank look on my face. I was absorbing and processing what was happening.
Because of this approach, the preparation of each athlete became unique. It wasn’t about being an offensive lineman or a defensive back I trained them to move more efficiently, more powerfully with greater speed. This was the difference between how my staff and I prepared our athletes and everyone else.
We focused on what we controlled. We didn’t try to make the athlete a better guard or cornerback or punter of quarterback. That was the position coach’s realm. We would enhance the way they were able to move, to accomplish the tasks that the coaches needed them to do so they could play at the highest level.
Win or Learn made huge change in the way I developed athletes. I didn’t care if the kid was a walk-on named Clay Matthews or an all-world talent named Marshawn Lynch. I would prepare them to be the best. Not focusing on winning, but on being physically the best they could be every time they set foot on the field.
Win or Learn: Business & Life
When you understand what is needed to push you team, your business or yourself to the optimal level you will use failures as learning opportunities. These minor setbacks will give you a bunch of great information. Successes are also learning opportunities. Could you have done better? How can you tweak your approach to life or business to even be more successful?
Focus on the basics and make yourself so sound that no one can beat you. Control the key aspects and always go back and learn no matter the outcome. Never relax, find your path and move down it – learning all the time. If you are constantly learning, you will NEVER LOSE again!
Have a great day!
