Dualism: Ancestors vs Ghosts
“What happened in the past is just one chapter, don’t close the book, just turn the page.”
- K. Ellie Collier
I went to New York to watch Bruce Springsteen on Broadway. During his show he spoke about Ancestors and Ghosts.
It took me a while to work this through, but when I did it made perfect sense.
Ancestors are those who came before us that we lean in to when we are growing in our personal or professional lives. They are the people who taught us the basics. How to pray, how to drive, how to work on an engine, how to cook. The taught us what it looked like when you were doing things right and how to push through the hard times.
Our Ancestors can be part of our family. Ancestors may be our mentors. Ancestors may be found in books and music.
These entities help us along our path. They are the ones who have paved the road and built the bridges that helped us skirt the issues that they ran into as they moved along their path.
Our Ancestors are part of our past but they lift us. And here is where the Dualism comes into play. When we look back to our past, we also have Ghosts.
These Ghosts can haunt us every day if we let them. The Ghosts of mistakes we made. The Ghosts of people who minimized our abilities. The Ghosts of words said and unsaid. The Ghosts of missed opportunities. The Ghosts of negative messaging. All happened in the past. Yet they adversely affect our present.
These entities from the past hold us back from who we can be. Some use them as a convenience so they can blame their actions on what has happened in the present on what happened to them in the past. We all have someone in our lives like this. They drop the Ghost card at every turn.
Here is the truth. We all have Ghosts. No one has lived a perfect life. None of us have made it this far “unscathed”. We have had people treat us with disregard. In some cases, it has been physical or verbal assault. I’m not dismissing or minimizing that what happened is wrong, but if we keep allowing the Ghost to live in our life every day, we are allowing the perpetrator to continue to victimize us.
If we are a Ghost in someone else’s past, this doesn’t mean we can clear our conscience by saying, “I’m moving on from being that person”. We need to understand what we’ve done, and understand that we were wrong. We do that by never being a Ghost again. We can’t fix what we have done, but we can make sure that we fight against such behavior from this point on.
Past – Present – Future
Trevor Moawad talks about the Past – Present – Future mindset in his book, “It Takes What It Takes”. He says that the past as already happened. We can’t do anything about it. But if we keep living in the past it will definitely affect our present.
Since the only thing we control is our present we need to do everything we can to live in the moment because what we do now, will most definitely affect our future.
When we allow our Ancestors to lead and lift us to greater heights, than they could have ever imagined, then we are paying tribute to them.
My offensive line coach in high school, Ed Lenius, is one of my Ancestors. He seemed like a hard man, when I was 15-years old. He held me to the highest standards. Even though I was not as big as some of the 18 and 19-year-old seniors, who would become All-State and play in the NFL, I was not allowed to give less effort or make excuses. I needed to become more resilient. To work harder and to become a leader.
Because of this I continue to push myself to be better than who I was yesterday, while working my way to be the best in my field. When I feel my energy waning after a hard week’s work, I remind myself that I won’t get to the top if I take tomorrow off, just as Coach Lenius wouldn’t let me take a play off during practice. This perseverance made me who I have become.
Bury The Past
As for the Ghosts in my life. I don’t give them a second thought. You’re right, I don’t know what Ghosts you are fighting, but then you don’t know the Ghosts that I have had to deal with, and walk away from.
My point being, we don’t need to be held back because of what has happened in the past. We need to move on with our lives and live in the present. We need to keep our Ancestors words close to our heart. They are part of our Circle of Resilience.
I have taken some of the Ghosts of my past: being born with a physical handicap, my speech impediment, having my skull nearly split in half and the diagnosis of cancer as Ancestors. I don’t fall back on any of them. I use them as turning points in my life that made me stronger, that made me who I am today. These “gifts” were given to me to test my resilience. I buried the negative aspects of the Ghosts and resurrected Ancestors. The Ghosts that remain are nothing but anchors that would have held me back from living out my optimal life.
Keep those Ancestors close and leave the Ghosts in the grave yard.
Have an amazing day!
